Shades of Red
by NekoKittyKat
Summary: After finding someone he cares about and loves, an accident leaves him alone and desperate. This is a story of just how desperate (R for: suicide, slash, and some choice words)
1. Lost Soul Returned

Neko's Note: I own none of these characters and this is dark, I actuallycried when writting it. To add to the story it goes from memories to present without much say, usually starts with I remember though. I think you can get it.  
  
The day was not dark or gloomy like it would have been in a movie, there weren't even any clouds in the sky and I wanted to scream at the world for leaving me alone, tearing my soul from my body and into death yet still keeping me alive, and then making the world around me so beautiful.  
  
I remembered him, the one who'd taken my soul into death along with his. I remembered his dark brown eyes and hair and light mocha skin that was so warm and inviting that I wouldn't mind just being held, lost against the warmth, drowning in a sea of love. I remembered how he tenderly lift my glasses from my face and brush his lips or fingertips across my closed eyelids going on about what color my eyes might have been trusting me with his life. It was my eyes that killed him.  
  
I fingered the knife in my hand, the blade was a good inch thick with a beautiful pointed edge that glistened as it reflected the light.  
  
I remembered the fight, we were trying to avoid confronting eachother, but it happened. That was when he died. When I turned and looked at him Toad's tongue snagged my glasses and before I could close my eyes I had hit him with enough force to blow a hole in a mountain. Todd was stunned and dropped my visor, I think Pietro was the one who handed it back to me, I wasn't really paying attention. As I was able to see again I saw him, my lover, face down in the grass bleeding from the mouth and nose. His lively brown eyes were now dead, laking a spirit.  
  
Slowly I dragged the edge across one of my wristes and then the other, wanting to cry but not being able to. The pain was a pin prick compaired to losing him.  
  
I remember falling to my knees at his side, taking his head into my lap and trying to find some spark within him. I found mself wishing I'd hit Blob, nothing would hurt him, or Jean or Evan or, after a moment I realized I wish I had hit anyone but him. The others looked so confused as I began to cry the only way I could with my deadly eyes. I shuddered and wailed using my voice as tears finally gasping out 'I killed him!' though it was one of the most obvious things in the world. I wanted someone to tell me it was a lie, that he wasn't dead.  
  
No one did, the Professor just shook his head when we returned and told me that it was for the best.  
  
As my wrist bled I removed my glasses, eyes shut tightly and hand shaking as I brought the blade to my face.  
  
I remember the funeral, the Professor had paid for it and it was nice, but it wasn't what he would have wanted. He'd rather have been burried in his back yard than have Xavier pay for his funeral. I sat in the back the whole time, listening to people say nice things about him that were all lies coming from their mouths. I knew they hated him, the only others who had cared were in the back with me cause they had known. Pietro and Fred sat next to me, Todd in the chair on the end muttering how it was his fault, all his fault. I wanted to tell him it wasn't, it was an accident, he hadn't known I wouldn't close my eyes in time. It had been my fault becaus I didn't even aim away.  
  
The sharp point touched my eyelid.  
  
I remember leaving early, right in the middle of Kitty's speech. No more lies, it was just too much for me. None of them knew him, they just had met him. I sat in his room for days on end, barely sleeping, eating only what one of the boys that lived there would shove down my throat. After awhile I'd just throw it back up. Then I had gone through his closet to find some of the clothes that still smelt like him and found a knife in a box that was wood and simple, probably made in shop class. A tag on the knife had said 'Now that I've met my reason I've no use for this'. I knew that reason had been me, like his ghost was whispering that I had been his reason. I flipped the tag over and found the words 'O happy dagger' and I knew what to do. Fate was so cruel.  
  
I wrote a note saying how I was already dead so don't bother with a funeral, I didn't want anyone lying about me just because I was dead. I told whoever found me how I was a husk and I was tired of being separated from my soul. So I took the dagger and slit my wrists.  
  
The smooth metal slid easily into my right eye, blood seeping from the sides with it. The pain was blinding, but I didn't feel it. Pain is sometihng the soul feels and mine is in the next world. With one twist of my wrist I had no more right eyes. I laughed when no lazer came out of the maimed eye. I repeated this with the other eye, feeling blood crust on my arms and gush down my face. I lied down on the bed letting the sheets soak up the red ooze that seeped from under my skin. As I got light headed I started to laugh, wedging the knife into my thought before tossing it aside to make sure I couldn't be saved. My laughter brought Todd and Pietro to the room, both cussing when they saw me. It was too late though, I could already see the light, feel the endless spinning. My last thought was too messed up for even me to understand and I was suddenly flung into his arms.  
  
~  
  
Pietro and Todd just starred at the lifeless body, no more breathing or color to its face. Todd shivered and looked at the other.  
  
"He really did it."  
  
Pietro nodded, "He's with Lance now, where he should be," a white square caught the speedster's eye. "Read the note Todd." As Toad read the paper the older mutant took a blanket that was folded at the end of the bed and covered the corpse with it. "See you on the other side, Summers."  
  
Neko: I can't belive I wrote that, it actually borders being good! Please review! 


	2. Healing the Wounded

Neko: Yes, this is the second chapter to Shades of Red. I couldn't just leave poor Toddikins feeling all guilty. If enough people are interested I'll do a prequel to Shades of Red about Lance and Scott's relationship before they both died. So be interseted.  
  
I had killed them both, not intentionally of course, but they were dead all because I'd taken that fucking visor. I'd read the note Scott had left a million times over in the past month or so and didn't eat nearly as much as I used to. It almost seemed routine now for Pietro to come in here with my dinner and some flies he had caught for me for some reason. The only way I could get him to go away was to finish it all. Lately he'd been giving me more and more gradually hoping I wouldn't notice. I wasn't a frog though and slowly bringing the water to a boil wouldn't work, but he wasn't bringing my life to a boil he was slowly turning the temperature down.  
  
"You know you didn't kill them," he told me one day while I was forcing the food down my throat; it was some kind of soup. I think it was chicken noodle. "They killed eachother."  
  
That was different. "What do you mean?" It was the most I'd said to him in months and I felt kind of bad because of that.  
  
"Scott killed Lance by not telling his friends about them, for hiding it, and Lance killed Scott by leaving him and leaving him that knife. You didn't do anything."  
  
"I took his visor," I replied quietly.  
  
"During a battle that would've never happened if Scott had trusted his friends enough not to judge him." When I placed my spoon down he picked it up and held it in front of my lips until I opened my mouth to accept it. "Open."  
  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked without doing as told. I gestured to the meal when he answered me with a distracted 'hm'. "Why do you care?"  
  
"That's simple," He leaned back in the broken down chair he'd pulled next to my ratty mattress and smiled, "you're my friend."  
  
"Fred is my friend." He came up every once in a while and tried to act like nothing had happened. He wasn't good with these types of situations though.  
  
"He doesn't know how to interact with you when you're all depressed. Plus he's just a friend and is content with that." Pietro took a cracker from my plate and munched on it as I chewed on his words. Was he saying?  
  
"Are you saying you're not content with just being my friend?" I cursed myself from practically squeaking with surprise, but I couldn't believe that someone who basically had his pick of girl could actually even remotely like smelly little me.  
  
"Perhaps I am." He was calm and cool as usual, acting like life was no big deal. Only time I've ever seen him up tight is around his father. I was almost glad I wasn't an exception. "Hard to believe for you?"  
  
"Kind of," I choked out, "I mean your so, and then I'm," I was trying not to swallow my tongue in my surprise and almost completely failed when his lips her pressed against mine in a flash. It was bold, but then again so was he. Plus no one would ever believe me so his reputation was pretty safe no matter what. "You have to stop blaming yourself and dwelling in the past," he cooed stroking my hair, "and look at the future, at _me_."  
  
I blinked a couple of times unsure how to react to what I was hearing but no one had even seemed to care this much about me. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "Why?" I finally asked in a small, shy voice. "I'm," I hesitated before croaking the word out, "ugly."  
  
"You're nice and that means more than looks ever will. I know you aren't the best looking guy in the world, but just think how that makes me look next to you." I heard the slight laugh in his words and couldn't help but smile. "Now, how about we go clean you up? You haven't washed since we found Scott's body and I'm afraid that just won't do." He scooped me up in my arms, no problem considering the weight I had lost by not eating much, not that I has heavy to begin with, and carried me to the bathroom.  
  
As he set me down on the counter next to the sink I had no clue how my life was going to work out, but I thought back on his words and realized they were true. I hadn't killed anybody. I looked distractedly around the room, something shining catching my eye. I reached down and picked it up; it was a silver band with Lance and Scott's names inscribed on the inside with an elaborate yet small heart in the middle of the words.  
  
"Pietro?"  
  
He looked over and we studied the ring together. He was probably recalling the same time as I was. Lance had practically torn the bathroom apart looking for something and mumbling to himself about how he was going to die if he didn't find 'it'.  
  
"Well I'll be damned."  
  
Neko: Yep, no clue what got into me so don't ask. I'm really not fond of Pietro and Todd as a couple. I mean I can see evidence of at least Todd liking Pietro. I can't really see Todd with anyone on the show so I just threw the two together because they were the ones to find Scott's corpse. Uh, yeah. Review and I might do a prequel if people are interested. That's all I have to say. 


End file.
